Stranger in a Strange Land

I IZ PLAYING DRUMS =O

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:49:37 -0400

I IZ PLAYING DRUMS =O

Things You Learn When Living In Your Own Place

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 00:23:21 -0400

It takes a lot of effort to make a place look semi-clean, and WAY too much effort to make a place look spotless.
Ironically enough, Spray N’ Wash stains floors. Really badly.
Utility companies will always try to screw you over.
As it gets closer to finals week, the apartment gets messier and messier, until the day of finals, where it pretty much looks like a hurricane went through it.
Dish racks are NOT designed to be at the edge of counters. Too many dishes on one side may cause the rack to fall, breaking every dish. Not that this actually happened.
Food can only stay in the fridge for so long. Do not forget about stuff and leave it there for a while. Weird things may happen.
Doing laundry is really annoying.
Even if you know how to cook, it gets annoying.
Doing dishes is annoying.
In fact, a lot of things are annoying.
The closer it gets to finals, the more your diet shifts towards food from the Checkers, Papa John’s, KFC, Burger King, and Kennedy Fried Chicken that is located within the immediate vicinity if your apartment.
That food is delicious, but will eventually kill you.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. That is, your window may be completely shattered when an A/C unit falls from the floor above you.
How I Met Your Mother is a great way to pass time.
Also Lost, Dexter, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Burn Notice, Alias, House, Chuck, and other assorted TV shows and movies.
Not that a lot of time is spent watching TV.
When your mother calls at 1 PM and you’re still asleep, she will wonder what you did the night before. You will tell her, “I was just watching TV.”
Sometimes, you actually were watching TV.

Dave Barry's Resume Tip #1: Qualifications

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:30:00 -0400

“This is the heart of the modern business resume. This is where we separate the sheep from the chaff. Because it is here, in the qualifications section, where you prove to a prospective employer that you possess the skill and knowledge necessary to string meaningless hyphenated buzzwords together into a sentence fragment lacking a grammatical subject.

Wrong: ’I am a hard worker who gets along well with others.’

Right: ’Results-oriented multitasking hands-on team-building problem- solving take-charge self-starter with enterprise-wide cross-functional productivity-enhancement management-specific capabilities including all phases of conceptualization, implementation, integration, augmentation, allocation, irrigation, fermentation, lactation, plantation, and antidis- establishmentarianism served over field greens with a balsamic vinaigrette.’”

- Dave Barry, Dave Barry’s Money Secrets